From Oi! Magazine issue five.

Save Our Phone Box Campaign.

BT’s decision to close several public toilets in St Neots town centre has
caused outrage amongst the local youth underclass.

Many of these adolescents were conceived in these urinals and as such could claim them to a be “home from home” under the 2006 “Right to Claim for Anything if You’re On Benefits” (amended 2007 “Anything and Everything”).

Oi! Magazine’s research has found that although the last recorded call from
any local public convenience was made in 1956 the cost of maintaining them
is negligible when compared to the cost of re-homing hundreds, many of who
save on rent costs by camping in the cubicles at weekends.

Blanc Chairck, spokesperson for BT, said that as far as the firm was
concerned they had no statutory responsibility to provide shelter unless
someone was prepared to pay a cursory £19.32 per 29.9 seconds of line time.

Oi! staff have contacted English Heritage who have confirmed that these
edifices of modern culture may well benefit from a Grade 2 listing.

Oi! is committed to saving these glorious toilets for future generations to
savour and is launching a “Save our P(home) Box Campaign”. Please add your
signature below to support us to support you, the St. Neots underclass.
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Yes. I’d still like to be able to relieve myself in public, smashing the
windows as I leave and occasionally puking in a St Neots phone box.

Place X here….X…..

Story by Oi! Magazine Reporter