Posts Tagged ‘Town Council’
Christmas Lights “Big Switch-On” This Week
St Neots Town Council has announced that the big switch on will be taking place next Friday, 25th July.
Dean Dexter, a spokesperson from the Town Council, said “we are absolutely delighted to be switching the lights on next week as it will really help boost trade in the town centre in the run up to Christmas”. He went on to say that they have chosen to switch the lights on early to raise people’s spirits in the town as the economy borders on a recession.
Child’s Pond Road resident Helen Bosworth said, “The festivities seem to be starting earlier and earlier so I am not surprised that they are being switched on in July”. Following the Christmas lights fiasco last year, it remains to be seen what decorations will festoon the town.
Dexter said “the lights will be even more impressive than those on display last year, and I think Huntingdon will be quaking in their boots when the lights are switched on in St Neots”.
Due to fears over health and safety, the big switch on will be taking place on Friday at 7pm before it gets too dark when it is deemed unsafe for young people to be hanging around in the Market Square. The lights are being switched on by a secret local celebrity. However, it is believed that the celebrity was chosen because they are currently filming Christmas scenes for a popular TV soap.
As for fears over pieces of buildings falling off under the strain of the lights, Expert Scientists were keen to assuage fears of residents. “Skyhooks. We’ll use skyhooks,” claimed an unnamed expert.
Story by Bebamag Reporter
EU Directive Forces St Neots To Rethink Market Square
St Neots is getting caught up in the new EU Directive 2008/23/EC on Quadrilaterals in Urban Centres which has been transposed into UK law. The new law states that market squares which are not perfect squares must be stripped of their “square” status.
Dean Dexter, of St Neots Town Council, said “we are currently working with the local government on a solution as St Neots Market Square has been one of the first to be identified as an unequal quadrilateral. From now on we will be referring to it as the Market Rectangle”.
Under the law, St Neots could reclaim its Market Square status if a 6m high retaining wall is built which runs north out of “the shop that was formerly Barneys” to the other side of the market rectangle. This would not only create a square, but an East side and a more desirable West side to the town. An insider from the Town Council, commenting on the wall which would divide Eynesbury and Eaton Socon, said it sounded “desirable”. However one person the St Neots Citizen stopped on the street said “I live in Eaton Ford and work in the Corner House so commuting would be hell”.
It is believed that roads named Square outside of the town centre would be exempt from the ruling, but may have to put quote marks around the road sign to show that it is merely a name, and not an actual square. A ruling on roads named the Crescent which are not crescent-shaped is expected next week.
Story by Bebamag reporter
Council Developes New Executive Living
St Neots Town Council sold of two of it’s bus shelters today to private developers for an undisclosed sum.
Madcap local councillor Bob Farms said, “They were unused, to turn down that amount of money would be stupid”
Developers are targeting a professional single or couple to take one of the shelters which will be transformed into a 2 bed, 2 floor apartment. The other shelter has to be developed for social housing.
“Its a great opportunity to get on the housing ladder with this compact executive home, with a guide price of £100,000, very tempting in the current financial climate”, is the official statement from the unknown developers.
Building on the town’s Loves Farm estate recently slowed as a result of the “Credit Crunch” and the fact that there are still many homes available on flood plains – handy for river transport – elsewhere in the area. The developers said, “If we still want to sell houses then we obviously need to be more inventive.”
It is thought that the shelter will have a modern feel, with aluminium frame and glass walls. Planners have stipulated that the new dwellings must keep as many original features as possible, including timetables and bus stop signs.
Exactly which shelters have been sold has not been revealed, but it is believed that one is a busy X5 stop, meaning that the new residents could be among the best-connected for public transport in town.
Another clause is likely to allow cider fuelled kids to smash the glass in the house at least once a month.
Story by JCM
Council Cannot Find Site For New Traffic Lights
St Neots Town Council faced a dilemma yesterday as they failed to find a suitable site for some new traffic lights.
“I don’t know what we can do,” said Cllr Pete Gregory yesterday. “We haven’t installed any lights for at least three months now. Demand must be high somewhere, but there are just no suitable sites.”
Cllr Gregory has a history of always provding crossings to the people of St Neots, whether they need it or not. Local businessman I P Freeley, who owns the 50p shop in the High Street, said, “I know lights are a necessity. Maybe the council could look at another set in the hight street. After all, there are only six crossings on a half-mile stretch of road. This is dangerous.” However, added Mr Freeley, any new lights installed must be of a quieter nature.
“The beeping from the pelican crossings is a nightmare. It sets off my ‘whistle-for-your-keys’ keyrings and is driving me insane.”
If a suitable alternative cannot be found, St Neots Town Council may have to look at alternatvies, such as new speed bumps, to dispense the current cash surplus of 87p.
